“You might think I’m a straight-laced, miserable, old spoil sport but that doesn’t change the fact that I am right and you are an idiot!” That’s what I felt like saying to the teenage learner driver who was arguing with me – his driving instructor – about playing loud music in cars. But, of course, a far more tactful response escaped my well-bitten lips! 

 This pupil, who was nearing his test, was boasting about the MASSIVE car stereo speakers he had just installed inside the rear seats of his car. I informed him that being able to hear is an important factor in driving, as is being able to concentrate. The root cause of many accidents is a driver’s failure to pay attention and according to research by the RAC Foundation, loud music depletes concentration by 20%.

“Nah,” said Mr Learner. “I did all my exam revision to loud music and it wasn’t a problem.” 

The research also found that if a song is above 60 beats per minute it will cause your heart rate and blood pressure to rise, while slower music has a calming effect. Drivers listening to fast music – whether it is Motorhead or Mozart - have twice as many accidents as those listening to slow music. This research backs up my belief that up-tempo music makes you want to drive faster – a tendency I have noticed in myself.

But Mr Learner was having none of it and I finished the lesson feeling defeated, yet determined to change his mind. For his next lesson I prepared a tape with two songs on it. The first was a slow track by Nora Jones and the second was the effervescent Eighties classic Come On Eileen.

“Let’s put these on full blast and see how you cope,” I challenged him. “Go for it,” he scoffed. “It won’t affect me. It’s just music.”  So off we went, with loud but soothing singing in the background, while Mr Learner smirked to himself and drove down a country road perfectly.

Nora’s silky voice trailed away and I watched the speedo carefully as the next song upped the tempo. Given that Mr Learner had been pre-warned of the likely effect of fast music, even I was surprised when he shot off like a bat out of Hell! He seemed totally unaware of his sudden increase in speed and as we pelted up a national speed limit hill I had to tell him to change up a gear as he couldn’t hear the engine roaring.

We pulled over. Now it was my turn to smirk. “Have no effect, eh?,” I said. “So how come you went from 40 to 53 in point zillion of a second?”

“I wasn’t that bad” he squirmed.

“And how come the engine nearly exploded through the bonnet up Cryers Hill?”

“Well I couldn’t hear the engine,” he said.

“Precisely,” I said. “So what if it was a horn or an emergency vehicle that you couldn’t hear?”

“Okay, okay. Point taken,” he conceded.

After Mr Learner passed his test, I saw him out driving while I was walking through town and I smiled to myself, expecting to hear Nora Jones through an open window.  Alas, I was disappointed. His windows were fully closed but I could still hear Pump Up The Volume by M.A.R.R.S. as clear as day and feel vibrations underfoot as he passed!

Oh well. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone continued to drive in the manner they passed their driving test? Just imagine how safe our roads would be if we all did that.